Friday, May 31, 2013

Sunny for the First Time in a Week? Of Course I'm Sick...

A brief apology for being such a habitual blog slacker. I don't mean to be...I get busy with work, with moving, with being sick, etc....and my poor blog ends up like the bunch of green onions stuffed at the back of my veggie drawer: neglected and withered. Forgive me, internet?

Confession: I do not do well with illness. 

I was never one of those lucky kids with a crippling stomach flu that kept them out of school for a week. If I told my mom I thought I had strep throat, she told me to gargle with salt water and get outside before I missed the bus. If I coughed until I was red in the face, my mom would hand me a dose of sickly-sweet cough syrup and tell me to hurry up and just drink it before I missed the bus.

(Cough syrup is my nemesis. I still won't take it. The day Nyquil and Dayquil capsules were released, I wept with least until I tried to open one of those blister packs. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO A SICK PERSON?!)

If my mom deviated from her 'tough it up' mentality and let me stay home sick, there was no lunch and video games and a story in bed a la The Princess Bride. No, if we were well enough to do anything but sleep, then we were well enough to at least do the dishes. Or dust. Bathroom bound? Great! Scrub the floor around the toilet while you're in there.

Looking back, my mother was a wise woman. School trumped housework: she taught me to learn how to function when I'm not feeling well.

 But sometimes you have to throw in the towel. Sorry, Ma. 

I am pathetically propped up on the couch today, battling walking pneumonia, and ear infection, and a sinus infection. I have no intention of scrubbing toilets.  

Friday, May 10, 2013


I'm a carb-o-holic.

I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't eat bread.

Pita bread. Sourdough. Naan. French bread. French toast. Buttery toast. Toasty toast.

Well, maybe not that last one so much...but I think you get my point: I love bread, and now with Artisan Bread in 5's fool-proof methods, I love to make it!

Check it:

Thursday, May 9, 2013

A Note On Food

I started to write my column for work, but I realized that perhaps I was getting a bit too cynical for a fluff piece. Still....I think it is half-way worth sharing.


It’s a simple word. A simple idea: Food is fuel for our bodies.

But that thought is old hat now, isn’t it? Food has become a philosophy, not a fundamental.

It’s a hobby.

A passion.

A career.

An indulgence.

An enemy.

We bravely battle an obesity epidemic with billions of dollar spent on pills, trainers, lipo and tummy tucks- saying things like ‘real women have curves’ while we lust after the body of some ‘skinny bitch’, (never mind if she has to endure an eating disorder to maintain it).

Our stomachs churn if our boneless, skinless chicken breast is undercooked, but our appetite remains unaffected by the image of a bony, skinny, underweight child. That kid is the problem of some third world country, not the good ol’ U S of A.

Food is fast becoming a form of judgment.

We used to scoff at the woman using the salad fork for her entrĂ©e…now we sneer at the woman eating anything but a salad.

Food has become controversial. The new bourgeois is the farmer who wants to turn a profit, who uses modern technology to keep up with our demands instead of working the land with his hands.

We talk about the food revolution- how my choice to buy only locally raised, handpicked produce and free range beef from the co-op makes me more enlightened than the dumb schmucks who hardly think twice about the mass produced, genetically modified corn they pick up from the grocery store and serve to their family.

.....and that's all I had before I realized the black hole that was forming.

Food is a difficult topic for me to get a handle on. I'm from a farming family that is living in an anti-'farming' pro-'farm' era. This culture is really no different than any other 'supply & demand' guilt trip in America- we want what we want and we want it now. We'll condemn the supplier to no end and demand that they change their ways, but we don't want our prices to increase, our supplies to deplete, or our routines to change in any way that might inconvenience us.

That cycle isn't exclusive to food production, either. Let's examine food consumption. No sugar, no carbs, no dairy, no gluten, no meat....but we want everything to taste as if none of that was missing. We say NO to genetically modified food that grows bigger produce, and yet- we hardly bat an eye at the chemically modified crap we consume every day: artificial sweeteners, preservatives, food dyes, etc etc the list goes on. Sure, we complain about those things and we feign disgust at the thought of these things...but all those thoughts are out the door when we're in the drive-thru, at the concession stand, or out to dinner.

Food has turned into a no-win situation. Growing, preparing, consuming....there's nothing simple about any of that anymore.